Ramps & Bumpers

I definitely overstated the ease of capturing my first bowling league championship.

So, Steph and I stroll to the alley, check the scores and we did completely dominate last week. Team high scratch game, team high series, etc, etc. etc.

It wasn't even close.

However, here's the deal, we went 2-1. That means we lost a point. To a team of an eight year old and his non-bowling aunt who was tired just watching her nephew during warm-ups.

WTF?!

Handicaps.

FML...

I mean, I knew there would be handicaps, but we seriously have our work cut out for us.

But, after checking the scores quick, we had two minutes to warm-up. I rolled two warm-up frames, Steph decided to pass on her warm-up tosses.

Our opponent this week? A mom presumably in her early 30's with a pair of pint-sized kids. Couldn't have been older than six.

And yes, he used ramps and bumpers.

It's fricking league play, and this kid has the audacity to use bumpers?

COME ON!

I almost went John McEnroe on this very cute, well behaved family. (The little girl, probably four years old, was wearing a Brad Johnson jersey and gave her mom high-fives on gutter balls and absolutely no love on the strikes she threw!)

So, whatever, they are spotted like 200-plus on us going into each game, we have to make up some 400 pins in the series.

I come out, throw a strike, spare and two more strikes and have like a 116 through five frames. Things are looking good. Steph was throwing well, too.

In the eighth or ninth frame, Steph's like, "Oh crap, we are down like 85 pins!"

It's at that point we learned about their massive handicaps.

We closed the gap, but lost by 14, I rolled a solid 191, Steph was at a solid 139.

Game two, we get absolutely pummeled. So bad in fact that the kid was basically taunting us when he decided to forgo the use of his ramp.

If only he would've scrapped the bumpers as well. He freaking threw two spares, following each with a nine! That's already like an extra 40 pins on his puny 40 average! He doubled up his score.

The mom was on her A-game too, despite the fact that she wasn't getting any high-fives on her numerous strikes and spares!

Meanwhile, I dropped from a 191 to a 159 and Steph dropped from a 139 to a 119. That added up to a 100 pin loss.

Yuck!

We went 0-3 against a kid that had to use a ramp and bumpers.

Wow.

I definitely overstated our cakewalk to a championship.

We have our work cut out for us!

Loyal readers may be in store for a mid-April let down when we don't win the championship...

Side notes:

• The Vikings are 7-1 and in control of the NSIC North and swept the Packers (I'm still bracing for the let down...).
• Our wonderful friends, Scott & Laura, helped us put in our new windows in our bedroom and I'm already feeling the increased heat efficiency! They will be back tomorrow to help pop in two more! Considering I'm the opposite of a handy-man, their help is invaluable!
• My awesome wife makes me laugh for completely random reasons everyday and I love it. If I could be disciplined enough to take notes on the stuff she says I could make millions on a book deal...

Bowling Championship Begins

Steph and I joined a new bowling league that opened last night. It's the third or fourth league we've been in together and we try to have fun.

But, last night's league gave me a new mission.

"Win the whole fucking thing" (Roger Dorn, Major League)

Why am I so serious about this?

Because we arrived at the alley, walked by all the teams, scoped them out (lots of gutter balls...) and parked at our assigned lane.

The analysis of the opposition is quite simple.

Lots of kids.

That's right, we joined a "family" bowling league, and half of our family is our dogs - no kids.

So, we show up, Steph is about a 140 bowling, I'm about a 155. We should dominate this thing.

We played against a nine year old boy and his aunt who appeared tired just watching the practice rounds.

Game One - I come out hot, roll a 199, feelin' pretty good. Lots of strikes, even a turkey and a double or two. Steph was solid as well, in the mid-130's. I hadn't bowled since late July, Steph had bowled just once since then. Not a bad debut.

It helps that there was literally no pressure on us. The 9 year old bowled like a 60 something, the aunt bowled in the 70's. Neither even closed out a single frame.

PURE DOMINATION.

Game two was similar, I kind of got tired, which is semi-embarrassing. But I finished strong with a 150-something. I lost to Steph, though. Our opponents totaled a 190.

I think we won by like 400 pins. I'm not a mathematician for crying out loud - let's be honest, I was a communication major at Concordia. But it was multiple 100's.

I talk a big game here on my blog. But, we had fun with it. The kid was pretty cool, and during warm-ups, he tried to copy my whack-bowling style. The aunt was nice, too, and don't worry, we didn't taunt them or anything.

I did learn one thing - Steph and I will be gunning for each other in this league.

As we walked out, I looked at the other scores on the screens. I don't remember seeing any in the 100's.

Handicap will clearly come into play, especially since I bowling about 20 pins over my average in week one. But, it really shouldn't matter. We should crush every week.

At this point, you may be wondering about our intentions of joining a "family" bowling league - we get a Wii at the end of this league, no brainer!

That means it's me against Steph - Bring it On!!!

Date Night + Roto = BRASA!!!

Anyone who knows me knows I'm into Fantasy Baseball.

Anyone who knows Fantasy Baseball knows it is also known as Rotisserie Baseball.

Anyone who knows Rotisserie Baseball knows Rotisserie is short for Roto.

Anyone who knows Roto knows I dominate. In a fantasy baseball league that has never seen a repeat champion,  I accomplished a three-peat. That speaks for itself.

So, it's no wonder that on my date night tonight, I went Roto on it!

Steph and I received a wedding gift card to a hip restaurant in Northeast Minneapolis and after nearly 10 months of happy marriage, finally decided to use said card at Brasa.

Brasa's signature is Rotisserie chicken. (please note the consistent capitalization of Rotisserie!)

The joint, located on Hennepin just off 4th street in NE Mpls, is quaint. Parking is limited. We parked two blocks away and hoofed it, no biggie!

Well, as soon as I parked the car and stepped onto the cool, wet pavement, I could feel the aroma of the slowly cooked chicken make its way into my senses.

I definitely led the way to the restaurant at a fast pace. Not only was I hungry, but the smells drew me in like a Luke Skywalker to the Darth Vader's Death Star.

We got into the place, and I wasn't kidding about the "quaint" observation. It's a small establishment, but very cozy, hip and cool. There was about a 20 minute wait - not bad for a Friday evening.

It was just enough time to settle into the corner of the joint, grab a quick tap brew and have a nice conversation.

Speaking of the brews, the beer list was short - but made an impact! For those who prefer a Miller Light and some Wings, this is not your place.

But, as a dude who enjoys whatever beer is on sale, as well as whatever beer is in my brother-in-law's (Jay) fridge, I totally dug the small selection.

The closest thing to a Miller (or Coors, Bud, Mich Golden, etc) Light was a bottle of Corona!

We went with a Surly first, then I had a Bells with dinner.

Our dinner order was the house specialty, Rotisserie chicken with red beans and rice, corn bread along with a starter of chips and guacamole.

Everything was outstanding. The food was better than the aroma that struck me from two blocks away.

I couldn't have been more satisfied with the meal, I'm actually still savoring it!

The best part was that it was completely affordable. The bill for the two of us with our drinks was comparable to a typical chain restaurant (Chili's, Applebees, Friday's, etc) - and we had the house specialty!

I mentioned a few times that Brasa is "quaint" - it is definitely a small, cozy restaurant. But that is part of the charm. Tucked in "Nordeast" - the eatery makes excellent use of the limited square footage. Steph and I were seated smack-dab in the middle of the place, in the only "middle table" that was used.

As a fairly soft-spoken person in most situations, I prefer to be in the corner or up against a wall in a fairly private booth.

This table was the opposite. It was as small as a two person table comes. It was right next to another table with six people at it who were actively conversing.

But the acoustics, background music and our fellow customers all made the setting a perfect environment for a date - whether a first date or a "married couple date!" I never felt as though our conversation was being sniped by our neighbors, and never felt like our surrounding tables' topics were invading our dialog, and the music in the background was just that: in the background! - it was the perfect mix!

I'm excited to return to Brasa in the near future - almost as excited as I am for my 2010 Rotisserie Baseball Draft!

Oh yeah, this morning, I decided to pick my own lottery numbers - went with five significant numbers to Steph and I with our Powerball number being the heavy-hitter - our wedding anniversary (which I already can't remember - uh-oh!).

Wish us luck...

Prepare for a Let Down

I'm pretty psyched that I have a comment, thanks sis! I also know of at least three other readers aside from my commenter, which is huge. That's two more than I anticipated. I was banking on my loyal wife, Steph, to be only reader - and that was only because I was going to make her read it immediately after I posted it before my writings drifted off into cyberspace irrelevance!

So, with that, here comes a big let down. It's been nearly a week since my last post, and everyday I think of things that inspire me to write, and I really don't have anything.

But, it's okay, by now we should all be used to let downs, at least Minnesota Sports Fans should be...

I'm well trained in being let down, but I am very poor at handling it. I get my hopes up any time a MN sports franchise appears to be succeeding.

So, in preparation of the next big let downs - the next two that occurred to me today are from the Minnesota Vikings. This sucks because they are 6-0 and not even playing to their potential. I can see a 1998 coming. Dominant regular season, some big wins (including at Pittsburgh this Sunday much to the chagrin of our soccer coach Joe!) and even a dominating playoff win at the Dome. Then, wham, a huge shocking loss.

But that's not even the let down I'm worried about most. I'm far more concerned about what I saw in my Sports Illustrated (SI) this evening. One of the first articles is about a billionaire LA mogul who wants to build the Taj Mahal of NFL stadiums. Yikes. This thing is sweet. Who wouldn't want to play there? And why WOULDN'T the Wilf's want to sell the squad for a pretty billion dollars and make a huge profit a la Red McCombs?

Clearly Minnesota will not build a Vikings stadium. Fresh of the Gophers' TCF Bank Stadium and the Twins' Target Field along with the awesome economy, I think the public (liberals and conservatives alike) is done with ponying up public funds for pro sports.

What concerned me most about the SI article is that we were not one of the four front running teams mentioned as likely suitors. In fact, SI even went as far as to write us off completely because they thought it was a forgone conclusion that we'd solve our stadium issue here because of the fact that the Twins and Gophers both got new houses.

What the fuck happened to journalism? Do your homework buddy. What a hack. All it would take would be to find ONE stinking stadium article on Star Tribune's website, and if that article wasn't enough, just read all the "insightful" comments.

No Chance!

Speaking of let downs, tonight is the Powerball drawing, and yes, I did get my ticket. I was smart enough to "delegate" that assignment to my awesome intern, Tim Evans, who also works part time at the North Mpls EZ Stop. I told him today that no matter what it's the last time I have him buy my ticket, because if I win, I won't be purchasing more Powerball tickets (duh) and if I lose, he fucked that assignment up, why would I give it to him again?

I apologize for the course language, but one of my favorite writers, Matt Taibbi of Rolling Stone, curses like a sailor and his shit cracks me up. So, grow some thick skin America. You can watch rated R movies, and if you take the time to read this far down on my blog, I'm not even worried about offending you at this point.

Wish me luck on overcoming my next big let down - tonight's Powerball drawing.

Peace.

What a Friday...

What an eventful Friday yesterday, it was so eventful, in fact, that I didn't even have a chance to blog about it last night!

Why didn't I have a chance to blog about it? Well, when Steph and I took Mollie and Ryder out for their evening walk to the park, Ryder had a tough time squeezing out his grumpy. Seriously, the poor guy was squatting for around five minutes, and that's like 35 minutes in puppy time (x7, right?!). Well, he had some of the stinky stuff stuck in his hair and he was not happy about that.

When we got them back to the house, we walked Ryd up to the tub for some scrub-a-dub.

Usually, this is a painless five minute process - he doesn't particularly enjoy it, but he knows we are providing him with a valuable service, so he usually just sucks it up.

Not last night. Last night, Ryder-boy was squirming around in the water, splashing and trying like hell to get out. This would be manageable if the water was just soapy.

But no, it was filled with poop-scraps.

After this 20 minute ordeal, I was covered in water, Steph was covered in water, it was gross.

And, one thing I failed to mention is my inability to stomach the foul smells of a strong deuce.

I was in a foul mood after this. I gotta hand it to Steph, though, she was a trooper - she always is!

After that, we watched My Best Friend's Girl, and as usual, Steph fell asleep maybe 30 minutes into the flick, while I watched the entire show.

Weird.

The highlights of the day were three real-life Seinfeld/Curb moments, so I'll leave this posting with them, in sequence:

Scenario 1 - awkward moment in public
In the morning, I'm heading to Caribou, didn't look for the best parking spot in the lot, just found one quickly and conveniently and parked. Wasn't in a hurry, so wasn't rushing into the building.

As I'm walking through the lot, an SUV races to a front row spot, driving literally right in front of me. The guy definitely saw that I was walking towards the "Bou" before him, but his spot allowed him to get out of his vehicle and make his way towards the entrance before me.

He gets to the door a few steps ahead of me, opens it, and in an anti-Seinfeld/Curb fashion, he allows me to go first. Pretty "Minnesota-Nice" if you ask me.

When we get into the store, the barista offers to help the next in line, the only two waiting were the two of us.

Here's the awkward part. What do I do? Do I let him go first since he was courteous by opening the door for me? Or did he open the door for me because he saw me walking through the lot and though I should go first?

So, trying to repeat a "Minnesota Nice" gesture to him, I looked at him and waved him ahead. But, he did the same thing at the same time. Hmmm. So, I tried to Alpha-Male my gesture and force him to go first. He did the same. So, after the two simultaneous gestures, I just went for it and ordered my drink in a very awkward way.

If I had a touch of Larry David to me, this situation could've blown up with me melting down in public. I should've just tried it in real life to see what happened. But oh well.

Scenario 2 - tip coordination
After work, Steph and I met up with Linsdey Palmer at Chili's for happy hour. The three of us split the "3 for $20 for 2 people meal" which is supposed to be for two people, but it's an asinine amount of food for two. Even the three of us struggled to finish it. Although my friends Bill, Trevor and Sam would've been able to down it solo I'm sure. They would be ashamed of my eating ability in this situation.

But I digress. That's not the point here.

So the three of us split this meal for two and each had a pair of two-for-ones. Kind of a sticky bill.

No worries, the server decides to be kind and splits it 1/3 to Palmer and 2/3 to us.

Sweet.

While waiting for the bill, Palmer has the line of the night. We were talking about my horrible drinking habits, which include coffee all day, a soda on the way home to transition back to reality, and a beer or two at night.

So the ladies were giving me a hard time, and in the midst, Palmer begins educating me on water, "So I got one of those plastic refillable water bottles, that, well, I drink water out of ...." She wasn't done, but Steph and I burst out laughing. After we settled down from our outburst, Palmer says, I was going to finish, but now I won't, in a sort of funny/embarrassed way. We pressed her to finish, she kind of chuckled and said, "Well, I was just going to say that I drink water out of it..."

After the line of the night from Palmer, server comes back, Steph and Lindsey look at each other and without flinching, coordinate the tip together.

Clearly, tip coordination is not wrong, and should not be frowned upon. Larry David wins. In a recent episode of Curb, he tried to coordinate his tip with Jason Alexander (George) to no avail. The episode obviously used this as the main issue. Everyone on the episode agreed with Jason Alexander that tip coordination is wrong and no one's business but the individual tipper. Larry said if there are two bills, the tip should be coordinated for the same service - DUH!

Scenario 3 - plastic packaging
After Chili's, Steph and I went to Best Buy, so I could get the cables to hook my laptop up to our TV so I can watch the Golden Bears battle the Mustangs tonight on the gridiron. The cable came in one of those impossible to open plastic packages. I was trying to open this AFTER the poop incident ruined my night.

Frustration clearly ensued.

I pulled out a scissors, cut open a slice, tried to rip the slice. Nada.

Had to cut that package for like five minutes to get my stupid cable out.

After that, I opened the other cable (easier to open package, thankfully) - and the dork at Best Buy sold me the wrong F-ing cable. What a dick. Now I have to go back and get a new cable today.

Hey kid, the jerk store called, they're out of YOU!

To bring it all back to the first posting from Thursday night - I remembered to waste a buck on a new Powerball ticket. Wish me luck tonight at 9:59 p.m.

Things I said I'd never do...

The fact that I have a blog sums up the title of this post. But I'm not starting it for any reason other than the fact that sometimes I just need to spill the thoughts out of my brain onto my keyboard. I'm not sure if anyone will ever read this, and it really doesn't matter, I just want to write!

I'm doing something else I said I'd never do, too. Playing the Powerball. I figure, what the hell, why not? If it's a buck or two a week and I have it in my wallet, I might as well. I don't spend money, anyway, so why not, right?!

That's sort of a contradiction, I know, because what would I do with millions of dollars? Probably spend it, in theory, but knowing me, I'd probably put it all away in as many different accounts as possible, pay off debt and make sure Steph drives a car that can actually run.

I'm too practical to win the lottery. But Steph isn't. She could spend it all for us, and that would probably be fun.

Usually the people who win the lottery are the antithesis of who the general public thinks should win. I guess my inability to spend money makes me one of those people.

So based on that, I am an ideal candidate to win the lottery, so I might as well play even though I always said I never would because the odds just don't support spending one dollar on it!

People always say they wouldn't change if they won the lottery. I think that's bullshit. My core principal's wouldn't change - at 27, I am who I am at this point. However, my life would change. I'd still work at my job, which is demanding and stressful - but it's my passion. And it gives me purpose. And with that kind of money, I could give a healthy donation to ensure that we are staffed accordingly to drop stress across the board! That would be the life...

Obviously, there are a lot of other things to do with lottery winnings, that's not the point of this post, so I apologize for getting off track. Part of the fun of playing the lottery is what you'd do if you won, and I'm all about the daydreaming.

So, please wish me luck this Saturday night at 9:59 p.m. - that is if I'm "lucky" enough to remember to waste $1 on a ticket!