Ramps & Bumpers

I definitely overstated the ease of capturing my first bowling league championship.

So, Steph and I stroll to the alley, check the scores and we did completely dominate last week. Team high scratch game, team high series, etc, etc. etc.

It wasn't even close.

However, here's the deal, we went 2-1. That means we lost a point. To a team of an eight year old and his non-bowling aunt who was tired just watching her nephew during warm-ups.

WTF?!

Handicaps.

FML...

I mean, I knew there would be handicaps, but we seriously have our work cut out for us.

But, after checking the scores quick, we had two minutes to warm-up. I rolled two warm-up frames, Steph decided to pass on her warm-up tosses.

Our opponent this week? A mom presumably in her early 30's with a pair of pint-sized kids. Couldn't have been older than six.

And yes, he used ramps and bumpers.

It's fricking league play, and this kid has the audacity to use bumpers?

COME ON!

I almost went John McEnroe on this very cute, well behaved family. (The little girl, probably four years old, was wearing a Brad Johnson jersey and gave her mom high-fives on gutter balls and absolutely no love on the strikes she threw!)

So, whatever, they are spotted like 200-plus on us going into each game, we have to make up some 400 pins in the series.

I come out, throw a strike, spare and two more strikes and have like a 116 through five frames. Things are looking good. Steph was throwing well, too.

In the eighth or ninth frame, Steph's like, "Oh crap, we are down like 85 pins!"

It's at that point we learned about their massive handicaps.

We closed the gap, but lost by 14, I rolled a solid 191, Steph was at a solid 139.

Game two, we get absolutely pummeled. So bad in fact that the kid was basically taunting us when he decided to forgo the use of his ramp.

If only he would've scrapped the bumpers as well. He freaking threw two spares, following each with a nine! That's already like an extra 40 pins on his puny 40 average! He doubled up his score.

The mom was on her A-game too, despite the fact that she wasn't getting any high-fives on her numerous strikes and spares!

Meanwhile, I dropped from a 191 to a 159 and Steph dropped from a 139 to a 119. That added up to a 100 pin loss.

Yuck!

We went 0-3 against a kid that had to use a ramp and bumpers.

Wow.

I definitely overstated our cakewalk to a championship.

We have our work cut out for us!

Loyal readers may be in store for a mid-April let down when we don't win the championship...

Side notes:

• The Vikings are 7-1 and in control of the NSIC North and swept the Packers (I'm still bracing for the let down...).
• Our wonderful friends, Scott & Laura, helped us put in our new windows in our bedroom and I'm already feeling the increased heat efficiency! They will be back tomorrow to help pop in two more! Considering I'm the opposite of a handy-man, their help is invaluable!
• My awesome wife makes me laugh for completely random reasons everyday and I love it. If I could be disciplined enough to take notes on the stuff she says I could make millions on a book deal...